Yoga Is For Every Body

When I was a child, I fell in love with dance. I started around the age of 3 or 4. As I reflect on my experience with dance, I realize what an impact was made in my life - particularly how I see myself. Though I don't remember the event I’m about to describe, it has been told to me by my mother, and I can’t imagine that it did not have an effect on me (at least on a subconscious level).

The area where I grew up was predominantly white, and I was the only black girl in my school . Around the age of 8 or 9, my mother had enrolled me in a ballet class and a nearby dance studio. One day after class, I came out of class in tears because the teacher had told me that “Black girls don't do ballet”. Fueled by anger and hurt, my mother immediately pulled me from the studio and enrolled me in a black owned dance studio further away in the inner city. I remember liking the new studio very much. I took ballet there as well as jazz and African dance. I loved it and was thriving. It felt good being in a space where the other children and teachers looked like me.

When our bodies change

Within a few years, I hit puberty. I started to develop earlier than the other girls, and they made sure to bring it up in conversation, but not in a loving way. I remember feeling very self-conscious about my budding breasts and the filling out of my hips and bottom. I remember my sister joking around that “I couldn’t be a dancer because dancers don't have boobs”. And while yes, I laughed it off, secretly I was devastated because I believed that to be true; which meant that I had to let go of my dream of being a dancer. I accepted that limitation that was told to me both from my peers and my sister. And while I know that the intention was not to break my spirit ( at least my sister), it still left an impact on how I saw myself.

There were many other activities that I tried over the years, but that feeling of having the wrong body always lingered in my mind. The reason I couldn't be a basketball player, or a track star or a gymnast was because of the body I had grown into. So I tried and quit them all. I transferred my energy into singing and acting in school, and then found my second love: Musical Theatre. I loved it! I thrived in it as well, and my body type didn't really seem to matter.

Feeling comfortable in my own skin

Around the age of 43, I really started to get into yoga. It started as active recovery in between workouts, and quickly developed into my main preference for intentional movement. The more I fell in love with yoga, the more I fell in love with my body. As I grew in my practice and started to learn more and more advanced poses, I started to let go of that belief that I didn't have the “right” body. I started to appreciate what I was able to do, and have continued to surprise myself on developing skills I never would have dreamed were possible for me. And I’m not done! I'm still exploring what my body has to offer me, and I do it with grace and gratitude.

Can I do everything? No. Do I still have limitations? Absolutely. But I have learned to meet myself where I am. To approach new things with exploration and not expectation. It's a lesson I learned late in life, but I am learning it.